I remember my dad asking me random questions like that and they would baffle the hell outta me. Funny how a question so simple turns into an elaborate answer of ifs, buts, and maybes. It doesn’t even require much thought or even an answer other than yes or no because it’s a close ended question.
Maybe I confuse myself by mistaking happiness for stagnation or living so far ahead in the future rather than the present. I find myself living for the end of things whether it be an appointment, the first half of a shift, the working day, the commute home, the cycle of promotion for an event, the event night itself, phone calls, conversations, awkward small talk… I look forward to the end of everything, in a majority of situations.
I’m at my happiest when I’m nestled away all alone in silence, laying down staring out of the window and breathing. Most of the things that get to us on a day to day or moment to moment are so insignificant it’s unreal. Think of the salary you get to go to work, is it ever or will it ever be enough when you think of all the things you could be doing with your time. The audacity that someone has decided how much an hour of your time is worth and offered you employment as if they’ve did you the favour is a mad ting.
If you didn’t have to work due to the financial commitments and spending habit you’ve developed over the corse of a few years what would you really be doing day to day?
I’d probably be laying on my bed staring up and out of the window in silence, listening to the sounds of outside.
I may even be under a tree, sitting in the shade, admiring the skyline and sights of the city.
I could be in another place with my girl exploring a foreign land and observing a different set of cultural customs.
Time is precious and with every moment you should be maximising your time by doing something you love rather than continue to torment yourself in a deep pool of pretence.
Don’t get it twisted, I love what I do for living and the brand I work for but I always wonder whether I’m living my life’s purpose. I always wonder if I’m really where I want to be, doing what I’m doing.
Does the work, energy and passion equate to the reward or am I continually selling myself short?